Added Jan 21, 2016
Laying on my bed, No clock ticking, but feel lost In the middle of night I wake up but wasn’t asleep Half awake, chasing nightmares Instead of chasing clouds to get dreams I thought I couldn’t move, I fainted, almost collapse Time Lapse, no need to try to escape TCK TCK it goes, but just in my headThe computer has replaced Nature Staring at the ceiling,Much too aware of everything I won’t cry, and as a tear escapes I don’t care I just wipe it away Silence, everybody is still asleep Nobody will tell me honey Come back here with me In my arms, away from any harm Cos’ I’m scared, yes I’m scared And I know that if I go to sleep The nightmares will trap me My heart beating so fast, Hurting in my chest No bright stars, just a point blank Kind of a circle I hate to see I see a silly unplayable violin And I see my guitars but won’t play Trying to get up don’t know if it’s warm or cold Looking at my phone but there’s no message No-one for me, from anywhere, no-one for me Not a single word, it’s supposed to be quiet I feel so weak, just checking if I can stand I could fall, as always, just like every day or night In the other room the same old TV show,Familiar faces,alive and kicking A lovely woman with big green eyes and a smile A story between them But not mine, but not mine I won’t make any noise,I’m like a drunk turtoise In the kitchen I look for a glass I start counting the pills to sleep It’s all white blue or whatever I keep thinking I won’t cry think of someone loving Not for me,not for me Too much stuff in my hand just made a mistake But it won’t change anything,I’m much too awake already It just happened cos’ I hadn’t slept at all For several days, but I’m so exhausted Don’t wanna get ready to go to bed As good people do, but much earlier Have a look at a page, computer always connected Dresses, colors, young girls, Bright Nights Late Nights, Riders on the StormThen old movies tittles, and songs in my mind Nobody else but me is there Looking at those things in the night I feel like I’m insane,but remember everything How nobody cares about me,How empty is my life, so silly,Why should I paint,read, listen to music Or write, and play,and live a real life I’m all alone and nothing won’t ever change No access,no chance,no success In my mind there is such a mess Helter Skelter,Mourning Dove,On the edge of the cliff, but just to feel the sea wind Can’t remember how it is, just to feel alive And someone plays guitar,I hear the melody,But then what comes to my mind is so sad Can’t close my eyes anymore Yes I cried, just crashed the escaping tear on my cheek Now I’m freezing again cos’ I remember the nigtmare Running after me Will it be the same It might be any time,night and day,upside down There’s always one to come,Artificial light, nothing bright My face in the mirror, scary, dark shadows, hollow As pale as ever, look skinny, my eyes so empty Can’t imagine people in each other’s arms, Sounds so crazy, but it ain’t funny at all My life, always the same,really miserable,And if ever try to sleep, it will be the same Is it a life, when it’s mine Just mine Nobody cares,no love,no dream, Now I won’t cry anymore at all, Silence has killed everything,But there’s something when I breathe That still hurts, like anguish, so defeating Deceiving, depressing,Won’t read my silly words, just typed them As a reflex,but no song ever,it’s all over,I’d better go before they all wake up Good and normal people,And nobody’s here for me,I will hide myself as usual, won’t look through the window I hate the sun,although I’m so scared when it’s dark, Hate the morning,when I can’t be sleeping,I’m always so tired,and now fainting again,One more little pill and I’ll be off I would ask angels to chase away the bad dreams But they won’t, I do know, they’re always there,Always the same nightmares Just wish I had someone to treasure Not a poor Teddy, oh God how can it be I wanna cry,I wanna die sometimes,But it’s all freaking me out,Now I’m way too awake,will shake in a while, In the dark, trying to get some rest,And all those images and sadness inside .There won’t be any any dream, trip or ride I don’t want What do I want, what do I know Mad world in my head, boom boom goes my heart And just a hollow tree as only fantasy Que sera,sera, forever will be,will be,I was born to be lonely,ain’t it silly,liked my words,and me But who cares, who knows,Nobody’s there, not for me, not for me I’m cold,sadness keeps growing,I wanna kill the pain and the fear They’re my best and worse companions,My only companions Now going to sleep,will try,will fake,will fall Let me sleep without a dream, please, no dream That’s all I got as a prayer Morning coming, scary hour Going to bed soon, sore eyes, sad eyes They never lie But nobody knows, nobody knows …
