Liza Peninon

Le Parfum des Cyprès Après La Pluie

Editions Stellamaris

https://editionsstellamaris.blogspot.com/2022/11/le-parfum-des-cypres-apres-la-pluie.html

Mon dernier livre, paru aux Editions Stellamaris. 

My latest book.

My latest original song, an emotional one ...

Nothing But Virtual - Original song Liza Peninon - live acoustic

Last Forever

I can’t even remember
The very last forever
The last time I could feel you
Just keep thinking about you
We are forever apart
There’s worse than a broken heart

Don’t worry
I don’t believe in Love anymore
Don’t worry
I must have lost myself on this shore
Don’t worry
You know I’ve never been a dreamer
Don’t worry
I’ve always known there’s no forever

We got nothing now to share
And I could go anywhere
The hole in my heart keeps growing
Nobody knows I keep bleeding
Never mind there’s no true Love
Not for me or far above

Don’t worry
I don’t believe in Love anymore
Don’t worry
I must have lost myself on this shore
Don’t worry
You know I’ve never been a dreamer
Don’t worry
I’ve always known there’s no forever

The last sparkle in my eyes
It’s no big deal if it dies
I was born to fade away
For me there’s no other way
I didn’t mean to love you
I’m sorry that I told you

Don’t worry
I don’t believe in Love anymore
Don’t worry
I must have lost myself on this shore
Don’t worry
You know I’ve never been a dreamer
Don’t worry
I’ve always known there’s no forever

I knew you couldn’t love me
And that’s why I feel empty
Sadness forever will be
I’m back to feeling lonely
I’m staying in my prison
No need to find a reason

Don’t worry
I don’t believe in Love anymore
Don’t worry
I must have lost myself on this shore
Don’t worry
You know I’ve never been a dreamer
Don’t worry
I’ve always known there’s no forever

Dernier "Pour Toujours"
Je n'arrive même pas à me souvenir du dernier "Pour toujours"
La dernière fois que je t'ai senti
Je continue juste à penser à toi
Nous sommes à jamais séparés
Il y a pire qu'un coeur brisé

Ne t'inquiète pas
Je ne crois plus en l'Amour
Ne t'inquiète pas
J'ai du me perdre sur ce rivage
Ne t'inquiète pas
Je n'ai jamais su rêver
Ne t'inquiète pas
J'ai toujours su qu'il n'y a pas de "Pour toujours"

Nous n'avons plus rien à partager
Et je pourrais aller n'importe où
Le trou dans mon coeur grandit
Personne ne sait que je saigne
Tant pir s'il n'y a pas de véritable Amour
Pas pour moi ou loin là-haut
Refrain
La dernière lueur dans mes yeux
Ce n'est pas grave si elle meurt
Je suis née pour disparaître
Pour moi il n'y a pas d'autre voie
Je n'avais pas décidé de t'aimer
Je suis désolée de te l'avoir dit
Refrain
Je savais que tu ne pouvais pas m'aimer
C'est pourquoi je me sens vide
La tristesse est là pour toujours
Je suis retournée à ma solitude
Je reste dans ma prison
Inutile d'en chercher la raison
Refrain

Spinning round and round
Like the washing in the drum through the porthole … what about brainwashing …
What about nuclear submarines …
Like a ball spun round a wheel in the opposite direction … but you’re gonna lose everything …
Like the spiral readout you got by spinning a round disk while the detection systems scans it all … What about galaxies, small planets in motion … Or scanning our thoughts …
Like a bike artist spinning wiftly round in his magical balancing act, like floating on air, but he fails … falling down … broken …
Like a stuck slot games while spinning, the round will be completed even though you’re not in the game anymore … But that’s too late …
Like a mill round spinning the figure starts as wing mill … is it poetry ? What about the windmills of my mind …
While children have fun spinning on the merry-go-round … One more run … they don’t know what the future brings … devastation and suffering …
Like money making the world go round spinning faster and faster … Material world, rich people rule the world
People lose their home, their family, live dramas and tragedies, and it hurts … yes it hurts to FEEL it all …
Like the dizziness you got on a bright day when your thoughts are spinning round … cos’ there’s too much questioning …
Like a chakra spinning clockwise, round, is taking in energy ... but what if you can’t breathe ? What if it doesn’t work …
Like the merry-go-round of art as business spinning faster … all for money … and money for nothing … Beauty to be sold … What about inspiration ?
Like a crazy spinning exercise … and a man has spun himself into the ground … and then, back to reality …
Like the spinning of the animals been replaced by machine cycles making the selection, right colors and materials, what about the animals never seing the light …
Like the rippling, spinning and weaving of cotton whereas slavery is not totally over, nor segregation or discrimination, racism …
Like women singing a song of praise and joy and the thread they were spinning was of the finest kind in the old century, but those days are gone forever …
How can the world keep spinning on its axis while there are so many deaths we ignore … any minute …
Like a man keeps spinning around in the wind over and over, just to forget his miserable life for a while …
Like people worrying or getting mad about silly little things and the planet keeps spinning out of control …
Like feeling unable to let them get us down cos’ this big old world keeps spinning around … But the masters of spin around rule …
Like love and brotherhood surviving … or not … as the world would keep on spinning …
Like keeping us spinning wild theories and chasing after men instead of following hard evidence … it’s so easy to find ennemies, not to judge ourselves …
We wish we could keep the place spinning like a child’s toy but there’s nothing we can do, and if we could, we wouldn’t do anything …
Blame keeps this whole planet spinning, writing great words makes no real act
Money drives that old global economy and keeps Big Daddy Earth spinning around
The governments’ job is to keep the old ball spinning and make believe that everything is under control, and that’s alright … Who’s gonna drop that bomb … and when … Is it bound to happen some day ?
Like the earth keeping spinning around the sun and that keeps you from flying off the earth, why should it be comforting ?
No need to keep the hard disk spinning for long periods of time, we can reduce power consumption, but the Ice keeps melting and decreasing with Global Warming, there are more ecological … so-called « natural » disasters to come, but while forests are destroyed, pollution is destroying the continents, people, everything, everywhere … Endangered species will disappear, the underworld is dying … but it goes on and on …
Inside us an engine is in spinning that will keep turning until all our strength is used up … Is that a Life philosophy ?
It keeps the brain moving, as spinning brain is a working brain … what about Human Care, genetic diseases, not enough money for scientific research … more for the Armed Forces … War isn’t over …
Like handing a loaded pistol to someone, asking anyone to shoot … More violence, everywhere … like giving up cos’ it’s too late, who on earth could change the world ?
Theys used to say make love, not war … For the sake of Humanity, but what about individual consciousness ?
Like a woman spinning up the boys, keeping them pixilated, like longfellow deeds … while so many women are being abused, raped, even children sold, abused too … but … Silence is better than bringing a testimony, cos’ then people will say you just feel sorry for yourself … Oh God … Yes, praying is good, as long as we are aware of everything, as we try to face our responsabilities and if we’re not trying to escape reality to feel emotionally ok …
This ain’t no protest song, claiming « Peace and Love », « No war anymore », but living in comfortable beautiful big houses with lovely gardens full of flowers, as the World keeps spinning round and people keep suffering everywhere … watching chosen, selected information on TV and just pretending to be upset for a while before eating and drinking wine … and laughing … and they say that people who don’t eat cos’ they think about hunger, starving … is whether an illness, or worse, being self-centered ?
Like keeping destroying this world and hating people while pretending to be nice and friendly, is that called Humanity ?
Words can kill … Silence too … But this world is spinning round and round …
True feelings and authenticity are no longer there, it’s all fake and lying, and pretending … or ignoring … It is so easy to have children and watch them grow whereas the world is bound to end into total destruction . But who knows that having no child means crying a whole life without anyone knowing, just to protect the unborn baby … is that to be selfish ? What about orpheans, abandoned, ill-treated, abused children, when you got no right to adopt any child … and they’re left alone in the worst conditions …
Words are so easy … good thoughts as well, claiming such things isn’t equal to living them from inside . Suffering WITH people is the only way to know how it feels …
To be a true rebel is something you gotta live from inside, not playing a part …
When you’ve always been hurt by the suffering of the whole world, when you’ve always been aware of everyhing around you … then you write no protest song … This is definitely not a protest song . This is just … thoughts, feelings, compassion, suffering … Silence .
Liza Peninon

Here's a sad Love song I wrote a while ago, I recorded it in a softer way ...

Laying on my bed, No clock ticking, but feel lost In the middle of night I wake up but wasn’t asleep Half awake, chasing nightmares Instead of chasing clouds to get dreams I thought I couldn’t move, I fainted, almost collapse Time Lapse, no need to try to escape TCK TCK it goes, but just in my headThe computer has replaced Nature Staring at the ceiling,Much too aware of everything I won’t cry, and as a tear escapes I don’t care I just wipe it away Silence, everybody is still asleep Nobody will tell me honey Come back here with me In my arms, away from any harm Cos’ I’m scared, yes I’m scared And I know that if I go to sleep The nightmares will trap me My heart beating so fast, Hurting in my chest No bright stars, just a point blank Kind of a circle I hate to see I see a silly unplayable violin And I see my guitars but won’t play Trying to get up don’t know if it’s warm or cold Looking at my phone but there’s no message No-one for me, from anywhere, no-one for me Not a single word, it’s supposed to be quiet I feel so weak, just checking if I can stand I could fall, as always, just like every day or night In the other room the same old TV show,Familiar faces,alive and kicking A lovely woman with big green eyes and a smile A story between them But not mine, but not mine I won’t make any noise,I’m like a drunk turtoise In the kitchen I look for a glass I start counting the pills to sleep It’s all white blue or whatever I keep thinking I won’t cry think of someone loving Not for me,not for me Too much stuff in my hand just made a mistake But it won’t change anything,I’m much too awake already It just happened cos’ I hadn’t slept at all For several days, but I’m so exhausted Don’t wanna get ready to go to bed As good people do, but much earlier Have a look at a page, computer always connected Dresses, colors, young girls, Bright Nights Late Nights, Riders on the StormThen old movies tittles, and songs in my mind Nobody else but me is there Looking at those things in the night I feel like I’m insane,but remember everything How nobody cares about me,How empty is my life, so silly,Why should I paint,read, listen to music Or write, and play,and live a real life I’m all alone and nothing won’t ever change No access,no chance,no success In my mind there is such a mess Helter Skelter,Mourning Dove,On the edge of the cliff, but just to feel the sea wind Can’t remember how it is, just to feel alive And someone plays guitar,I hear the melody,But then what comes to my mind is so sad Can’t close my eyes anymore Yes I cried, just crashed the escaping tear on my cheek Now I’m freezing again cos’ I remember the nigtmare Running after me Will it be the same It might be any time,night and day,upside down There’s always one to come,Artificial light, nothing bright My face in the mirror, scary, dark shadows, hollow As pale as ever, look skinny, my eyes so empty Can’t imagine people in each other’s arms, Sounds so crazy, but it ain’t funny at all My life, always the same,really miserable,And if ever try to sleep, it will be the same Is it a life, when it’s mine Just mine Nobody cares,no love,no dream, Now I won’t cry anymore at all, Silence has killed everything,But there’s something when I breathe That still hurts, like anguish, so defeating Deceiving, depressing,Won’t read my silly words, just typed them As a reflex,but no song ever,it’s all over,I’d better go before they all wake up Good and normal people,And nobody’s here for me,I will hide myself as usual, won’t look through the window I hate the sun,although I’m so scared when it’s dark, Hate the morning,when I can’t be sleeping,I’m always so tired,and now fainting again,One more little pill and I’ll be off I would ask angels to chase away the bad dreams But they won’t, I do know, they’re always there,Always the same nightmares Just wish I had someone to treasure Not a poor Teddy, oh God how can it be I wanna cry,I wanna die sometimes,But it’s all freaking me out,Now I’m way too awake,will shake in a while, In the dark, trying to get some rest,And all those images and sadness inside .There won’t be any any dream, trip or ride I don’t want What do I want, what do I know Mad world in my head, boom boom goes my heart And just a hollow tree as only fantasy Que sera,sera, forever will be,will be,I was born to be lonely,ain’t it silly,liked my words,and me But who cares, who knows,Nobody’s there, not for me, not for me I’m cold,sadness keeps growing,I wanna kill the pain and the fear They’re my best and worse companions,My only companions Now going to sleep,will try,will fake,will fall Let me sleep without a dream, please, no dream That’s all I got as a prayer Morning coming, scary hour Going to bed soon, sore eyes, sad eyes They never lie But nobody knows, nobody knows …

I just did this adaptation of the huge song by Elton John, ( Sinead O'Connor version, only kept the very last words "I gave my heart" ), I do not own the music nor the track . Here are my own lyrics .
It’s been such a long time
I knew I was wrong
I just crossed my fingers
Decided to be strong
It was my own story
And it would be my life
But from the beginning
I just gave up on my life
Broken heart
But nobody knew
I wouldn’t be his baby
Had to make it through
It was my sacrifice
Didn’t give my word
Pretented to be living
But not sharing our worlds
It was my sacrifice
My sacrifice
It was my sacrifice after all
A huge misunderstanding
As a matter of fact
I let them all build my prison
From the very first act
I chose the wrong direction
There would be no return
But to ease my family’s burden
I just let it all happen
Broken heart
But nobody knew
I wouldn’t be his baby
Had to make it through
It was my sacrifice
Didn’t give my word
Pretented to be living
But not sharing our worlds
It was my sacrifice
My sacrifice
It was my sacrifice after all
I gave my heart
I gave my heart
I gave my heart
I gave my heart ...

My Life "philosophy"

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