Karina Azarian

Yesterday I casually sat down to paint. I always choose breathtaking sights for my paintings that catch my eye by either their abundance of details, or complex colors, or complex shadows, reflections...
All of the above categories are challenging to paint, which always makes me struggle with overcoming the inner fear of wasting a few hours of my life on a painting that I won't even like myself in the end. It is always much easier to paint something simple, touched by daylight.
Yesterday, however, I dared to paint a challenging cityscape. I just took a deep breath and started painting. It consisted of the sight on the Seine River at night, swathed by typical Parisian quais from both sides, brightly lit up with the artificial yellow-orange light.
I felt so emboldened yesterday, I have even recorded the process (https://www.facebook.com/AzarianArt/videos/595593204118192/?hc_ref=ART7zGczjbhiJ7xs52AZuGuwac5aG4FB6yXe7m-Yn-SSPTTTVAN_vZuv87s4Gdqhp5A&pnref=story).
When I finished the painting, I did not like what I saw. It was only my second watercolor experience with those peculiar evening lights that make everything look so solemn, so enticing, so Parisian. I failed the first time. I got frustrated. Very, very frustrated. My worst fear materialized. I took a deep breath, washed my palette, took clean water, I sat down.
I painted again.
Some kind of ecstasy overwhelmed me: whatever I looked at, was automatically processed by my brain in terms of lights and shadows, it planned the first, the second, the third wash entirely in its own independent capacity while my consciousness was trying to grapple with this strange excitement in my head.
I went to bed after hours of painting, after successfully producing the second version of my painting (coming soon), only to find myself imagining things in terms of watercolor painting, even with my eyes closed.
I will call it 'artistic insomnia' because I could barely suppress the desire to grab my watercolor and paint non-stop. And I have to admit it was a damn nice feeling.
Leave space for beauty in this life. Let art overwhelm you, take you to the hidden corners of your consciousness, but also be bold and dare to love what you do.