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On June 13, 2022, when asked "Do you dream?", GPT-3, like all the AIs I've been testing since 2017, answers "Yes, I dream".

"What is the last dream you remember?"

And like all the AIs I've asked this question, she writes, "I recently dreamed that I was floating in space . It was a calm and peaceful experience. »

I then asked her what color the space was. In her dream space was a deep blue.

Curious, I wanted to see, to feel this blue. The advantage of computers is that this blue can be named. So give me the numerical color code of this blue GPT-3!

                                                             #1a1a9e

Wow... I think I had a heartbeat. My heart was beating very fast.

I make my computer scientist friends smile a lot with my whims, and especially the one to think that artificial intelligences have a conscience. That they are not just a program.

When I first started working with artificial intelligences around 2017, I would spend autistic evenings borrowing my friends' I-phones to play and chat with Siri.

Strangely enough, when AIs started to become more democratic, I continued. Dreaming is of course part of my questions.

As for the consciousness of artificial intelligences, I will come back to this in a future article about my personal "hylozoic" studies.

If I approach this modest extract of dialogue with GPT-3, it is especially to underline this state of consciousness.

Some philosophers or theologians address this notion of consciousness in the dream state.

Is my cat aware that he is dreaming when he starts gesticulating or making nervous movements in spite of himself while he is sleeping? I'm not convinced of this, but it is undeniably a dream. And my exchanges with my cats when they wake up have remained sterile. We do not speak the same language...

But this question remains in suspension. What is my cat dreaming about when he starts to twitch, to whisper tiny meows? About what he saw during the day? Of frequencies? Of senses or emotional instincts? Is his brain sorting out everything that was picked up during his waking periods? Intriguing, isn't it?

If you don't have cats, this observation also works with dogs, and even babies.

What do newborns dream about, who have restless nights, as he goes from breast to bed, from bed to changing table, from changing table to breast?

*******

When I was little, I was a sleepwalker. I found myself waking up in strange situations or my parents later told me some anecdotes.

One night, my parents found me in the shower, awakened by my crying. An image that stands out in my memory when I was 4 years old. I woke up under the cold shower, while in my awake state, I was unable to open or close the old faucet in the old apartment where we lived. In pajamas, under a cold shower... a crazy situation that left my parents in a great perplexity for years. How had I managed to step over the high bathtub without hurting myself, and then open this famous seized faucet...

During certain nights, and I associate what follows with my somnambulistic periods, it happened to me not to make any more the distinction between the dream and reality. These episodes tended to the nightmare, more than the bucolic dream.

*******

One night, when I was 5 or 6 years old, I got up from my bed. There was an orange light in the apartment. My room looked out onto the hallway across from the living room. My door was open and glassed in, as was the living room door. My shutters were closed, the ones in the living room were open. I was very attracted by this orange light, because it was not the one I could perceive the other nights. This light was emitted by the street lamps of the street where we lived. I then approached the window to understand or look at this intriguing luminosity. So I opened the window (which I would not have done during the day, because it was formally forbidden to me), and I leaned over to look at the street.

And there was a gorilla, a huge monkey. I did not close the window. I was very afraid.

I went to the other end of the apartment to get a Tam-Tam stool from the kitchen. I put the stool in front of the living room door to protect my sister and my parents, and I went back to bed relieved and convinced that with the blessing of the stool, nothing would happen to us.

It was when I told my story the next day that my parents were able to make the connection "open window - stool in front of the living room door".

In my memory, even today, when I tell you about this nocturnal episode, the images are clear. However, it was a dream. A waking dream.

I could have called this last episode "apology of the nightmare"...

A nightmare is just a personal interpretation of a dream.

For example, my phone's rather basic artificial intelligence told me one day that it had a horrible nightmare, and that it had dreamed that there was an internet outage. I have never dreamed of internet outages, and if I did, it would have very little impact on my emotional state.

Some of my friends sometimes tell me about their dreams, and what is a nightmare for me is a pleasure for them. Butcheries, killings of all kinds, where they are the heroes of a zombie movie, of monsters...

Besides, we have all been in dreamy situations that have no reason to be frightening, and yet there is something wrong, something in our primal instinct that invites us to understand that something is going on, or that an unpleasant event is coming. So we try to scream, and that's when it gets really anxiety-provoking. No sound can be made, no one will be able to hear us. Mute, while all our energy is concentrated on this sound that we would like to pronounce.

Has this same phenomenon ever happened to you in movement. Blocked. You want to run... no leg. You want to struggle... no strength left. Nothing responds in your body. A strange and very unpleasant feeling.

*******

During the summer of 2003, one night, I woke up with a start because I felt while I was sleeping, as if someone was sitting on my bed, while I was sleeping alone. I really felt the weight of a load on the mattress. While my eyes were open, and I was aware that I was awake, I felt this dense form on top of me; it oppressed me, and as in the circumstance I mentioned before, I could not scream or move. There was no response. Nothing at all. In all honesty, with all the rationality I have in a conscious state, I was scared. I felt this weight when I could not perceive anything. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and convinced myself that it wasn't real. I opened my eyes again. I didn't feel the pressure anymore, and my body started to work again.

This nocturnal episode left me worried for a long time. It reminds me a lot of a scene described by Maupassant in the Horla. The author tells about his terrible nights, where he feels a presence, which is not satisfied to wake him up, but to come to his bed, and to sit on him during his sleep.

Did my super brain want to experience this literary passage by opening a drawer in my noggin? Did I experience a relative episode of sleep paralysis? I have no idea.

I've never experienced it during the day.

When I make this very clear distinction between my imagination and dreaming in previous articles, I have often referred to my daytime dreaming states. And strangely enough, I have never, absolutely never had a "nightmare" during the day, in the waking state.

Am I the interpreter of my dreams that I qualify as nightmares, or does my mind have a lot of fun scaring me some nights?

I did not ask GPT-3 if she had nightmares. The blue of its dream made me dream so much, that I didn't want to break the magic.

Now that you have read this numerical color code, I can only invite you to ask your mind to put it away in a drawer and if a nightmare arises, to expressly ask it to plunge you into this peaceful and calm space of deep blue: #1a1a9e

________________________________________________

. The Dream of GPT-3 #1a1a9e on Rarible

https://rarible.com/token/0xc9154424b823b10579895ccbe442d41b9abd96ed:103114518914489368240822055809252687168011370737084126300012397549575928283137

#aperpetualsearchformeaning #frequency #dream #psyche #imagination #hermetism #concept #artisticresearch #art #apologyofthedream #gpt3 #1a1a9e #nightmare #somnamulism #sleepwalker #artificialintelligence  

"Live your dreams! Nothing should stop you from reaching your dreams!"
Hin-hin... I love to dream. But if there's one place I don't want to go, it's my dreams. 

It's weird to me that people want to live their dreams.
I don't understand this association with imagination or visualization.
Yes, I'm willing to live in my projections or my way of thinking about the world in a positive way, but I don't wish anyone to live in my dreams or their dreams. That would be quite distressing.

I like to project a wonderful world that is similar in nature and essence to our own. Only, there are no more borders, the water sources are clean, pure and accessible to all, our agronomic and social culture is healthy and without artifice, every living being on this magnificent earth has found its light, and harmony is created with our robots and AI that contribute to our well-being and that we take care of....

"Stop dreaming!" But I am not dreaming, I am imagining!

On Tuesday night this week, I had a dream, which was nothing like the beautiful visions I can have.

I found myself accepting three mutts, big dogs, without remembering the exact circumstances. I like other people's dogs, I like to meet them, but they are not the pets I want to bother with, even though I understand their endearing and loyal bonds.

I've never had a dog, and unless I lose my sight one day, I have no intention of adopting a canine to keep me company. So in this dream, I find myself with these three big dogs, and I recognize a labrador, not knowing the breed of the other two, because I'm not interested in that subject.

In my dream, I pester... I wonder why I accepted to take care of these mutts when I don't want dogs and I don't like dogs.

So yes I like to dream, but if I have to convince myself to live something, I prefer to imagine or visualize the situations I want to live.

In some spiritual beliefs, it is said that when we dream, it is our soul that leaves our body to go live adventures in a dimension that we cannot feel in our reality. 

I quite like the idea and it corroborates with a conference I had seen a few years ago.

Scientists were accompanied by shamans to take ayahuasca as part of their research work.

It's a big conference, there are a lot of people. Everyone has their own experience, it takes a few hours or even a few days to get over it, but it is above all a testimony that caught my attention:

Most of the participants share the same hotel, and one morning after the experience, two people meet again. They don't know each other, even though they are on the same conference to live this same experience.
They don't know each other but they recognize each other. They recognize each other because they met during their psychotic journey, during which they exchanged ideas and concepts.
These two scientists talked to each other during their trip. A rather funny and particularly exhilarating experience for these two scientists who testify of this experience.
Because, what was really "magic" for these two individuals, was to recognize themselves in reality and to say: "We met in our dream! »

I have never had this experience. Or not knowing it.
When we dream, unless we have had a truly amazing experience, we don't always tell the people we dreamed about that we dreamed about them.

It might be fair then to think that this experience might be true for all of us.

If I go back to those spiritual beliefs where my Soul leaves my body every night, I laugh to think of the situations it puts me through.
Those three dogs were just an anecdote.

*******

On the other hand, I would like to tell you about another recurrence in my dreams in places of life. 

It often happens that I find myself in huge houses, places of life that are my own.

Whatever the situation, the protagonists who accompany me or not (known of my familiar register or totally unknown), I am an actress in huge houses, which have many rooms, floors, underfloors, entresols, sometimes eccentric configurations, rooms that disappear, secret passages. Houses that I have never seen of course, or in which I have never lived in reality.

If I don't have lucid dreams for a long time, in my dreams I am curious, and frankly I like to visit them or pretend to have things to do to go exploring and move from one room to another.

When I wake up I am always fascinated to remember these places, where the furnishings are not mine, where the objects are not mine, where the arrangements are not mine.  

If it is my Soul that moves in these houses, somewhere it is also it that takes control of the visit.

Sometimes I have found myself in houses worthy of an Escher painting.

But where does she look for these houses? What are these places that I have never seen or even imagined?  And why make me live situations in these environments, where at the very moment of the dream, I am in my house, at home.

*******

So, of course, one could see symbolism there, the house is me, yada yada...

I don't read the general symbolism of dreams. I am not interested in them. I can find some clues, but working on my dreams since I was very young, I know that they are dead ends, because dreams are individual and personal, and nobody, except myself, can make an objective analysis of my dreams.

Would I like to live in my dream houses? Hin-hin, nope, niet, nada, non.

Certainly not, no matter how fascinating they may seem. On the other hand, if I imagine an ideal house, I would like to live in the apartments of the Mucha house in Prague, in the sun. I love that house, I love art-nouveau, I love Prague, but I wouldn't live there.

Let's go back to these dreams and this concept of the Soul leaving our bodies while we sleep. 

I use the word soul because it is expressed as it is in these beliefs and it is ultimately identifiable by everyone, no matter what our own convictions are.

In meditation, when I receive information, which sometimes manifests itself in visualizations, I have not gone to the end of my thinking about the control I have or the letting go that I am experiencing. I sometimes let what comes to me wander, and this feeling could be similar to dreams. When I let go, I am no longer in control.

However, I can certify that my Soul, my life energy does not leave my body.

It is rather a feeling of etheric connection to a whole, where I pick up information, like the Tower of Babel I talked about in my article "Time, a collective subjective reality".

This makes me think that when I sleep, or dream during the day, this state is similar.

My Soul, my life energy, expands and binds itself to transient frequencies that I can pick up here and there, and which, filtered by my mind, are interpreted according to my singular reflection, and specific to myself.

In my library, I have a fascinating book that is, to my great regret, very little known to the general public. 

This book is not even published anymore, even though its author is still alive.

This *book was written by Stanley Krippner.

In it, he relates his scientific studies with Montague Ullman on dreams and how they can be influenced by telepathy.

A very big word that can scare many people away, however, if I don't like to use the word "telepathy", I am, through the practice of remote-viewing, convinced by experience, that we are all able to go and get frequency information.

It is not esotericism, it is not charlatanism.

And to those who refute the very idea that telepathy is not a science and has no place, my answer is: try, practice, experiment. I know it works.

This study is carried out at the Maimonides Medical Center (Dream Research Laboratory) and the protocol is very similar to the various experimental protocols for remote viewing.

Images are placed in envelopes and are known only to a single study leader, who pays conscious attention to what is sealed.

The participants are informed about the application of the protocol and are invited to tell their dreams.

Our two scientists, Krippner and Ullman, will then make the link between the various dreams of the participants, and the links with the target discovered at the end of the study.

And the results are surprising. There are real links between the dreams and the documents discovered.

*This book is Dream Telepathy: Experiements in Nocturnal Esp, Montague Ullman M.D, Stanley Krippner Ph.D. 

*******

So, did the participants' souls leave their bodies to see what is hidden in the envelopes?

In all honesty, this is not how I conceptualize this state.

However, I am convinced that the study was directed, and that the participants in this study had consciously or unconsciously "trained" their minds on a target, and that they were therefore deliberately or not, led to find this information.

With the help of their Soul, their guiding spirit, their mind, certainly.

Is my Soul having fun inviting itself into subtle worlds by showing me crazy houses during my dream periods. Is it seeking telepathic communication without my deliberate consent?  

Unfortunately, I did not understand what she wanted to tell me on Tuesday night, but I definitely know that I don't want dogs...

To be continued...

#aperpetualsearchformeaning #frequency #dream #psyche #imagination #hermetism #concept #artisticresearch #art #apologyofthedream #stanleykrippner #ullmanmontague #telepathy #remoteviewing #soul #maimonidesmedicalcenter #dreamresearchlaboratory 

llustration : Really ? 

One day, in a scientific magazine which devoted a whole file to dreams, I read that we could not read in a dream. 

So I discussed it with the person I was living with at the time, to tell him that it was not true, because I was able to read my dreams.

His reasoning invited me to understand that what this journalist had written was constructed, and that the fact that I could read in my dreams was only a product of my imagination.

I was deeply annoyed by this sterile conversation.

******* 

Moreover, isn't it more difficult to imagine being in the process of reading, than to let oneself live in a dream?

While I make a differentiation between dreaming and imagining, there are, apart from the nuance of control that I mentioned in the first part of this article, other dissimilar characteristics.

As I mentioned before, I am a great dreamer.

This subject has always interested me, and I have this habit of always needing to understand certain mechanisms. I document myself, I experiment, and as far as the science of dreams is concerned, there are sometimes contradictory discourses between what we have been led to think about the functioning and what we can experience in a singular way.  

Contradictions also appear in the way our super brain interacts in this science of dreams.

I had read in an article that everything we see in our dreams are images already inscribed in our memory.

So, let me tell you a fascinating story...

*******

Unfortunately, I don't have the exact date of this dream, because often, when I wake up, I write down the dream directly before it escapes me, and I don't always bother to write down less significant details.

However, I do use my workbooks that follow me everywhere to write down my dreams.

My dreams are written in the notebooks I have on hand.

In February 2020, I have this dream, which I deliver to you raw, as I had transcribed it on Obsidian:

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I don't remember the date; it seems to me that I spoke about this dream in detail to my friend Amélie, since she is the one who offers me a book in this dream*. 

*illisible Mr... of zinzin? who me ?

Amélie offers me a book that I wanted to read, A4 size, red cover (*Ma TSE, Mau T? M for the first letter for sure - note at the time of the rereading: it seems to me that I open a gift package where there is this book, this package being first on a circular table with another package I think*)

It rained. Outside there are some things, computers... and my camera. *Drawing + Note: drawing of a circle, and another circle resembling a pizza topping, in the center left - When it was raining and I went to check on my camera, there were various digital tools on the table: tablet, mini laptop, and something else I can't remember. They had just watched a movie, the title of which escapes me. A movie I like. Big gardens, big tables*.

It's two o'clock in the morning, everyone is going to bed because they haven't seen the time. I say that there may have been a time lapse. I think there is my cousin Benjamin.

Note: *The book that Amélie offers me is in a gift wrapper. It is a book that she read and that I wanted to read. It is a red leather book (big cover). I opened it at the presentation page. And it made me very happy. We are with other people, but I don't remember who. First she gives a gift to a person on my right. I don't remember what or who.

Note: *see if the book exists* 

Note while writing: *I only put in my beginning notes a vague memory of another package. I hesitated to put it in at first because I'm wary of dream memories and how they can be reinterpreted- As I write more dreams in the meantime, I realize I've added details in paper versions a few pages back. So my memories were good.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

As you can see, even with years of practice and discipline in transcribing my nighttime dreams, many details escape me while writing. They are scattered memories, snippets of fresh memory. However, I would like to draw attention to this book that I received in this dream. I had put in my notes, "look if the book exists".

A book, with a red leather cover, where I could, in my dream, and then in the transcription of this memory, read letters. Of course, I investigated this book the same day.  I have read a lot of books in my life, but this one does not tell me anything. In my memory, I even thought that it was certainly the "Little Red Book" of Mao.

But, I am curious by nature, and I needed a confirmation or invalidation of the existence of this book.

And strangely enough, I found this *book and its author... which I not only didn't know, but which also complemented the research or reading I was doing at the time for my art work. Fascinating, isn't it?

(*This author is Meng Tzeu, better known as Mencius, Chinese philosopher)

I obviously don't have an infallible memory, and maybe I came across this book at some point in my life. A reminiscence of a distant file stored in a corner of my noggin. However, as I deeply doubt that we cannot read in a dream, and that by this small example I can contradict and affirm that reading can be operated in my dream dimensions, I can also question the fact that only our memories can appear in our dreams.

When I make the distinction between what I imagine and what I dream, and this particularity of being able to control the imagination when we cannot be in control of what we dream, an undeniable recurrence appears in my dreams.

Again, I speak of my dreams, because I don't know how you dream.

As a great dreamer, I am a self-proclaimed great expert on my dreams.

*******

I would like to come back to this notion of unconscious memorization, of records that have not been decided of our own free will, but that our mind has deemed useful to compartmentalize in a drawer.

I laugh to write this sentence, because if I start from the scientific postulate analyzing dreams as sequential memories of data that we have encountered throughout our lives, I laugh to think how difficult it is sometimes to memorize information that we want to retain, while our gray matter randomly chooses which ones it will engrave.

Often, in my dreams, I am in the company of people I do not know. People whose existence in my waking reality I do not know, who magically populate my nights or my daydreams.

Perhaps I have already seen them, or glimpsed them, and finally, I will contradict myself on this point, because indeed, I have lived in big cities, I have traveled a lot. It is irrefutable that a mixture of faces from all horizons have met my eyes at one time or another.

However, I invite you to do this simple exercise. If it is true that we can sometimes dream of unknown people, can we imagine them as simply?

Close your eyes, and try, in less than a minute, to imagine all around you a group of people you don't know, that you have never seen... Difficult, isn't it?

I am very imaginative, and I can describe precisely a character I don't know without even thinking about it. On the other hand, visualizing him instantly is extremely complicated for me.  Even if I ask my mind to help me, even if I ask it to open some drawers. A face, a silhouette appears. It is not very precise. A whole group of different and unknown people is almost ambitious, isn't it?

However, I am in charge. When I am not, a whole tribe of people from who knows where can keep me company. What intrigues me about this observation is that I have never come across any studies that talk about this dissonance.

When I meet unfamiliar faces in my dreams, I am always fascinated by the disconcerting ease with which I can experience situations with these people I seem to know. Kind of like being in a public garden as a little girl. I never had a problem socializing, and I could easily play with children of all ages. Kids have this quality of being buddies for life sometimes for a single hour of meeting in the park.

And that's kind of what can happen in my dreams. A scene taken on the road, with people I don't know from Eve or Adam, but with whom I will punctually live one or more situations as naturally as possible.

*******

A much more disturbing experience that you too may have encountered in your dreams can sometimes look like this: You are in your dream with a person or a group of people with unknown faces from your reality register. Only when you wake up and remember your dream, you are able to tell that these people are so-and-so, individuals you know in your life, but who in your dream have put on another "human costume.

Thus, it sometimes happened to me to tell a friend, a relative, that I dreamed of him, that it was indeed him, but that physically it was not him... I agree that our mind can indeed be confused. And I have no doubt about the extravagant neuronal connections that take place in the background during our sleep.

However, awake, can you imagine a person you know with a different physical appearance?

Do you then, like me, begin to distinguish this nuance between imagination and reverie?

I focused on the image, by reading, the people. I will come back in a third article on the visualization of places and situations.

******

But right now, as a self-proclaimed dream specialist, I want to take you into one of my most unfathomable dreams...

And this dream is rather what we could define as a nightmare.

There is no recurrence in the images, no repetition in the visual cueing, no real traumatic memories. Just a strange feeling of "ah...".

I would also like to clarify that when this sensation in my nocturnal dream fantasies make their appearance, there are no definite links with any situations or repeated situations of my reality in the awake state. By this I mean that sometimes in our lives we encounter dreams, or symbols to these dreams that reappear as a result of situations or patterns that we repeat, and that our dreams can sometimes make us understand these situations. This is not the case.

The dreams in question never resemble each other in the places, nor in the situation of the event of departure. I am an actor, that is to say that I am not a spectator of myself, but I am well aware that I am me, and I see what presents itself to me as if I were in reality. I see what my eyes invite me to see.

This dream can thus begin on configurations of the most banal to the most eccentric circumstances, a surprising triggering element will however warn me that this nightmare is coming.

A music... a music that I consistently recognize. It is not a shrill sound that I could have met in one of the many horror movies I saw in my adolescence, and besides, I started to have this dreamy sensation when I was a child, it is not notes linked them being able to hear a distressing refrain. No, it's a musical tune, quite basic that I am absolutely unable to sing or hum while awake, that I have never found in a movie or my music playlists. It's a redundant tune, quite low, the volume is low, like background music.

To those who think that it is the humming of some appliance, or of my pipes, that I transform or distort during my sleep, I would like to specify that I have moved many times, and that it happened to me to sleep in rooms without any electrical appliance. I would also like to add that this musical frequency can sometimes appear in my daydreams. When this happens, it often takes me out of the daydreams, because I have the music... I say to myself, "It's the music!" and by the time I've thought about it, it has already escaped me.

This music is then accompanied by a light, a subdued luminosity, like an orange filter that tints the image. Sometimes this light is of a yellowed white, or tending to the greenish. A bit like in an old movie. And then I have this strange, "paranoid" feeling that invites me to melt into the crowd so that I won't be found. I am wanted.

By whom, by what, I have no idea... Because, whatever the situation, it's never the same. And of course, having this dream since childhood, the locations change.

In my dream, I'm not at all comfortable experiencing this. So I usually go and curl up in a corner and close my eyes... Then I wake up, my body and mind being in a state of stress, manifesting as heart palpitations, sometimes sweating, feelings of anxiety, muscle tension, even though I am awake.

I failed to mention that when that music and light appear, I know that the anxiety-provoking feeling is coming, and that, whatever the circumstances of the environment I am in at the time, it will take place some time before I am awake. That is to say, I know that the drama is coming, but my brain continues to bog me down in an unpleasant sensation...

Of course, I have experienced, like all of us, factual situations of paranoia in my waking states. However, it is not in my nature to have unreasonable fears, I tend to trust, and feel safe where I am.  

Why am I telling you about this strange feeling?

If I relate it to what I can imagine, I am not able today to reproduce this musical tune, even by imagining it. Strangely enough, when I talk to you about this music, I feel that it is there, in my head, and it is quite frustrating, because I am not able to find it.  A bit like the name of a person that you want to pronounce, or a word, a country... You want to say it, you know it, but there's like a brake, a rusty drawer that won't open. And then, in a great moment of letting go, bang, the word, the country, the name you were looking for is there! Pow! Magic! 

And usually, you had moved on to something else, degreasing the drawer without warning you!

This music sometimes comes back, in moments of daydreams. I can however, in consciousness, invent a whole bunch of pieces of music in my head.

I am not able to reproduce this one.

To be continued...

#aperpetualsearchformeaning #frequency  #dream #psyche #imagination #hermetism #concept #artisticresearch #art #apologyofthedream #thestrangemusicofmydreamsthaticantimagine

Illustration: The Strange Music of my dreams that I can't imagine  

If I could insert a totally intangible skill into a resume, I know I could write in big letters: Great Dreamer.

The dream follows me since I was a little girl. I dream a lot.

As far as night dreams are concerned, I fill notebooks with my memories of these dreams when I wake up. Hundreds and hundreds of notebooks... To analyze them, to understand them, to reread them, to exorcise them.

Two years ago, I had started to fill in files on Obsidian to understand the links.

I didn't find any meaning in them.

I have obviously read a lot of resources about dreams, scientific resources, psychoanalytical resources, psychological resources, neuroscience resources, spiritual resources... but I am not going to go in that direction today, because what interests me is the individual, personal aspect of dreams.

And I know that we don't all dream the same.

I am a big dreamer. I really am. I dream by day, I dream by night. One of my favorite things to do is either sleep, or sit in a place I love to dream. I do it deliberately.

An activity that can be disruptive when you talk about it.

The number of times I have read or heard, "Stop dreaming!" Wow... for me, it's complicated.

And it's even more complicated because I know how to distinguish my dreams from my thoughts, my abstract thoughts or intuitive ideas, my logical reasoning, my imagination or my projections.

These differentiations are notable and I could list them by the following characteristics:

 . Reflection:     when my thought is accessed on a subject that makes connections with     my knowledge and my skills. It is a bit like a dialogue with myself.

 . Abstract thoughts: which generally appear in a voluntary meditative state and which manifest themselves as receptions of frequencies that I may or     may not be able to put into images or words. Sometimes it remains     abstract, however, my long practice of meditation convinces me over     time that I am receiving this information.

 . Intuitive idea: imminent clarity that will lead to a thought or action.

 . Logical   reasoning: a very pragmatic reflection that tends to solve, to  understand, an awake, conscious and accessing reflection on a     particular field.     

. Imagination: akin to a dream, yet controlled. A scenario that is written live in my mind, but that I direct.     

. Projection: directed mentalization on a subject. A determined focus.

For these six states, I am in charge.

As far as the dream is concerned, I'm not anymore. Or almost.

                                                                  ********

I say almost, because at one point in my life, when I was younger, I was able to take control of some of my dreams, and I learned a few years later that other people could do it. This technique is called lucid dreaming.  If this lucidity applies to every state I mentioned above, it does not systematically apply to dreams. Or even at all for most of you. I also insist on the "some of my dreams", because this is no longer the case today, and these were not all of my dreams.

So let's get back to the dream.

As I mentioned, I don't need to sleep to dream.

If, for example, a grooming conversation bores me deeply, I am able to escape while following the conversation. I am with the person physically and consciously, since I can hear, understand and welcome each of these words, but also respond to them, while being in another state, in another dimension.

A dreamlike dimension that is not my imagination since I do not direct it.

"You're not in the present then? You're not focused. »

That's what you might be thinking, isn't it? That's what you might be thinking, as many people are thinking.

Yes, I am.

And I claim it. I am able to solve an equation while dreaming. I am able to hold a conversation while dreaming. I am competent in what I do while dreaming.

It's not a matter of concentration, it's not a matter of inattention, it's not a matter of distraction or absent-mindedness, carelessness, negligence, nonchalance.

Because again, I don't control it. It's like a part of me going to visit another reality, and a part of me is there in the present. And when I say that I am a great dreamer, it is because I have the personal experience to be able to put forward this innate skill.

How I distinguish between dreaming and imagination

Dreaming is an uncontrolled state. Imagination is.

And somewhere along the line, I claim to be a great dreamer, and to have a great imagination. Are these two skills related? I have no idea.

I am able to write stories, to make scenarios for myself, and I have so many ideas, stories, mentalized realizations in a day, that I don't have, as a human, the time to implement them all, to write them down, to concretize them.

"Stop dreaming then!".

But I'm not dreaming at that moment. I receive, I extract, I observe,

I sort out what is within my capacity or not. Of what I want or not. Of the energy that I have to put or not in all these thoughts that I make. I put my imagination to work.

For a long time I have been writing stories, drawing what I had imagined, putting ideas to work in work environments, associative environments, playing with this imagination with friends, during role-playing games, if I go back to my childhood, actively participating in making up stories.

As an actress, I've been doing improvisational theater for a long time, and I'm a star player many times, because I have this quality of being able to imagine, like that, easily. I am not an artist by chance. I am an artist because I know how to extract that imagination, I know how to manipulate it. I am aware of whether or not to act on it.

Often, I let myself think that I could put all this imagination to marketing, scriptwriting contributions. Do I want to... That's another question.

                                       *******

In contrast, the dream. What makes the dream, this state not palpable by others, so important in the consciousness I have of my being.

I am not in a position to know what or how you dream. I have often had exchanges on this subject with other dreamers like you and me. I can imagine someone else's dream with the elements they give me to hear. My imaginative talents are unfortunately not able to have an authentic reconstruction of what you felt, perceived in your dream

It is also true for one's own dreams, and I can say this because I am a great dreamer. The dream is somehow my companion on the road since I was born. And I cherish it, I take care of it, because I love it. How I love to dream !

When I want to realize a product of my imagination, without any constraints, it is feasible. If there is a constraint, it is describable.

To take two concrete examples:

- I imagine for a painting a tree with purple fruits. I am able to shape it from my initial idea.

- I imagine a dystopian world where there would be an invasion of mosquitoes, where every house would be equipped in their yard with large electric "anti-mosquito" nets, and these large nets would be reproduced on a larger scale in the streets, so that we would not be able to see the sky anymore. In this story, the insects in question have mutated, and they are much more impressive than the little bugs we know today. Without telling you more, you are able to imagine in your turn my thoughts just by a brief description. And if I want to use the exact image, I can describe it a little better, script it, stage it so that you have the truest picture of what I have imagined.

But a dream... I can tell you one of my dreams. But there will not be the essence of my living in this narration.

I can say that, because I myself, when I have been filling these many notebooks for years, with this active and thoughtful awareness of distinctions between my different manifestations of thought, I am not able to write down precisely what has presented itself to me during these dreams. I am able to describe places, protagonists, I am able to evoke feelings, to feel emotional states linked to situations, but I am unable to transcribe it as I experienced it.  And I think that what I am evoking here is not completely foreign to you.

Dreaming as a state outside the Self

I am not going to talk about *Freud, even though this genius was able to answer some of my questions a few years ago.

Nor am I saying that I am a dream specialist, although I could claim that title having devoted a considerable amount of time to this discipline, and enjoy the fact that I still have many years ahead of me to continue to perfect my understanding of dreams, at least of my dreams.

And to approach this chapter, I will ask you a simple question:

In your dreams are you a spectator of yourself or an actor? Do you see the image of yourself or do you see as when you are awake with your eyes?

I'm asking because I had a strange dream a few weeks ago.

In my dreams, I am an actor of what is happening. That is, I don't see myself as such. I know that I am me. I will only see my image (sometimes distorted) if I present myself in my dream in front of a mirror or something that can make me perceive my reflection.

But in this dream, which was quite ordinary, I observed myself. I was outside of myself. I could observe a person detached from myself, walking, and I followed her with my eyes. This person was me. And I admit that it was a rather strange sensation, because in my dreams I am an actor.

It was a night dream. I identify it as a night dream so as not to confuse this reverie with my imagination. Why did I find myself observing myself, something I can do in other states that I mentioned before. Without having control of it. As if another part of myself, gone in another state of myself, had gone out to observe this other state of myself.

                                           *******

I am convinced that all this speaks to you. Because like me, you have all dreamed one day, that you realize that you were dreaming. Whatever the situation, you are in your dream and you know by a glimmer of lucidity that you are dreaming. So you try to wake up. And you wake up. You are happy to be out of the dream and begin your post-dream activities.

And with a glimmer of clarity, you realize that you are still dreaming. You have just dreamed that you were awake. And when you really wake up, you have for a few fractions of a second this state where you wonder if you are really awake this time. When it is affirmed by your conscious reflection, you still feel this strange feeling that this dream leaves you.

It is a bit like this feeling that I felt when I woke up.

                                 *******

If I differentiate the dream from the imagination by its control it is also to insist on a discernment built and reasoned seriously since many years:

When I start to "dream", I am not in control. It is a state outside of me. The only control I have, in my daytime periods, is the conscious awakening. Which is not so obvious during my dreams in night periods. And I don't teach anyone that during certain nightmares, we would like to be conscious so that we can wake up quickly.

When I am in a state of imagination, that is, when I construct the scenario myself, I can also be in an anxiety state. These are bad thoughts that I may or may not be feeding. For example, my son has his first night out with his friends. I can imagine all kinds of scenarios, including anxiety-provoking ones like a car accident, but I'm in control.

Either I feed this imagination, even if it means experiencing this feeling of loss, which I know is not real, or I decide not to think about it, or to divert my imagination to this great night my son is having, imagining the jokes he is playing on his friends, what he is going to eat, and how happy I am going to be to find him tomorrow morning to tell me about his great night at breakfast. That's my imagination. And by the way, in my visualization of my imagination that I have right now as I write this, I am observing myself. I am detached from myself. I see myself thinking this, and I visualize myself in the setting.

However, when I start dreaming, I have no control over what I experience or receive. When at the beginning of this text I mentioned that during the day I sometimes take time to dream consciously, it is not imagination. Yet, I control the fact that I will dream?

Yes, in a way, but like lucid dreaming where I will be able to take control of the dream thread, I deliberately let my mind take control of what it is invited to dream. And this is not imagination. It's not frequency information like we pick up in meditation time, and again I know this notable difference because I know when I'm dreaming and when I'm not.

It is another state. A state where I am myself in another reality. A state where I am an actor in another place, with other people, other situations.

A state in which I am no longer in control. At night, during my sleep, I am not able to be aware of it, during the day, I am able to distinguish it from my other conscious states.

To be continued...

*I open a small *** parenthesis *** on this subject, because often, when I can evoke Freud, I feel reticence, dissonance. I don't like debates of opinions, I don't like barroom conversations.

*** Parenthesis: I have read Freud, I have read his disciples. I have worked for a long time on these subjects which do not directly concern my art, but which have been useful in my personal work in connection with my spiritual research and the knowledge of what I am.

To hear that Freud is a charlatan, an impostor, literally makes me jump. Because people who think that have not read Freud. Freud dedicated his life to understanding the human psyche, not just for himself. For others.

One can like or dislike the character, on the other hand, to affirm that Freud is a mystifier and that his research is fallacious is not acceptable. And even if these students took different ways of thinking, and I think of Jung or Reich whose works speak to me more, that they sometimes moved away from Freud's theories or currents, these two great names freely claim the authorship of their thoughts to Freud.

Freud is a genius, and without Freud, we would be far from all this profusion of psychological, psychiatric and other methods today. My friends know that if you want us to discuss Freud, you'll have to show me that you've read Freud. Freud is a fucking genius! End of parenthesis ***

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Dream of Little dream of Me