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原创艺术品 (One Of A Kind)
绘画,
丙烯
在帆布上
- 外形尺寸 高度 15.8in, 宽度 15.8in
- 艺术品状况 工作状况非常好
- 是否含画框 此作品未装裱
- 分类 象征主义 爱情
The character in this painting injects abuse like a drug into their arm. The receiving arm is tied with a ribbon that has a blue sky and white clouds pattern on it, as the victim constantly hopes that it will get better after yet another cycle of abuse. Spinning around this action there are colours purple & yellow, contrasting. Echoing euphoria and suffering, pleasure and pain, perfection and chaos...
If you ever participated in a conversation about abuse in couples chances are you’ve heard some version of the sentence “How can someone stay in a relationship like that, why don’t they leave?” Maybe you had even said it yourself. In my life experience, sadly, all of this had been the story, until about a year ago, and hence I'm here to tell you all about it.
I learned the answer to this question first hand. The truth of an abusive relationship is that it's not an all-bad experience – if it was, leaving would indeed be easy. Like all relationships it goes though many phases, the victim is hyper-idealised by the abuser in the ‘honeymoon phase’, for example, more more than in a normal relationship, it is akin to a fairytale, it feels like finding your perfect partner, the one, a soulmate, love of your life... you name it. The feelings are stronger, than in any normal relationship.
All the pleasure hormones are triggered in that time, the victim gets ‘hooked’, just like in a drug addiction, and the abuse cycle begins, in which the 'reward' (more pleasure hormones) it then withheld and given in fractions of what was given before.
And though it may feel incredibly out of place, the victim still feels guilty and seeks reconciliation as fast as possible, trying to bring satisfaction to the abuser in every way that they can. Feeling in control brings pleasure to the abuser, the victim is rewarded, the cycle continues.
Once I started my journey towards recovery, I realised that this was not the only experience with a similar dynamic in my life. My subconscious ‘agreement’ to accept inappropriate, even harmful behaviour from people had been extending beyond my romantic relationships. I was attracting psychological abusers into my friendships as well.
I was brought up to accept mistreatment, with the mentality that victimhood is a mark of ‘goodness’ in a person. I felt compelled to accept inappropriate treatment from others so they don't get angry or so that I don't feel like the bad person. I would forgive my partner and stay in a relationship despite the repetition of the same wrongdoings. I naturally compromised my personal boundaries just so he didn’t get upset & make a scene. I was the first one to apologise even when it was clearly not my fault, because I couldn’t stand being ignored for hours if not days, only to receive more blame, guilt trips or aggression in return.
My mind was fixated on my partner. All I could think about was finding ways to please him or avoid getting him angry. I was not living my own life, I had no time for that, no mind space to even think about it. Just looking for the next ‘fix’.
Luckily, I got a chance to recognise these things, thanks to my ever supportive brother. Then, though hours of soul-searching I found that psychologists and spiritual teachers alike advised getting out of the victim role, a role I didn't even know I was playing, “as long as you're the victim they are the tyrant” was the statement. Part of this was my responsibility. But first I had to see the damage.
The hardest thing about these situations is to see the problem.
I started recognising victim patterns gradually. My progress was slow. Much like in a rehab, with relapses into old habits. I had to learn to say ‘no’ and to set boundaries. I had to get him out of my routines. I had to break our usual communication patterns. I had to learn that the ‘reward’ was not the only real part of the relationship and it was certainly not worth the suffering. It was a strong temptation to re-experience the fairytale that was never real.
I dedicate this piece to those still in the victim role. I hope you recognise the situation you are in and remember who you truly are. You have the power to break free.
相关主题
Abusive RelationshipAbusive RelationshipsToxic RelationshipPoisonous LoveAddiction
Born and raised in Klaipeda, Lithuania, this is where my art journey began, on a coastal town in a cold country, where the skies were normally gloomy, energy low and conversation minimal.
The North Eastern European art tutoring culture is rather conservative and focuses majorly on technique. Starting 2003, I began developing my academical art skills in this environment.
My skills got furthered and deepened between 2009 and 2011 with the Graphics & Printmaking course at the Vilnius Arts Academy, with the most useful perspective-shifting class being Composition for one semester with Arūnas Gėlūnas, a philosophy professor (who later became the culture minister), who had studied Japanese sumi-e painting and taught us to bring in brush size, stroke, shape & tone variability, which enriched my library of brush strokes significantly and keeps feeding my art creation to this day.
Having reached academical-art-learning burnout by Summer 2011, I left my quiet & uneventful life in Lithuania for a change of pace in London, UK.
I had switched from constant studying to working different jobs, while keeping art on the background at all times, increasing my desire to create more and more as the frustration with having to do other things for a living built up.
Finally, in 2015 I quit my day job and went into art full time, exploring various artistic income streams, from live portraits to digital logos, to illustration, to workshops.
In late 2015 I partnered with Louis de Trebons to paint signs at Camden Market, which led me into paiting at festivals later and exploring different other ways of applying my painting skills. Louis became one of my biggest influences both emotionally and artistically, bringing in more texture into my art, as well as more expression, colour and later finding that I wanted my art to represent my care for the environment.
During that period of 2015-2021, we left London together and started a farm project in Hungary, where we hosted festivals and workshops in the artistic surrounding of our creation, featuring our own art works and those of our guests. I began exploring more eco-friendly ways of art making, including pigments and egg tempera, pigments and oils, repurposing canvases, using eco mineral paits for home on my painting surfaces.
In 2021, Louis' passing became another pivoting point, forcing physical and spiritual change and greater self-acceptance. It was time to start connecting all the influences and knowledge and weave my own story out of it all.
Today, my fine art is a combination of classical training, expressive bursts of colour and experimentation with paint texture. I aim to use mostly eco-friendly non-toxic recycled/repurposed materials and feature predominantly female figures to tell a visual story.
